BA (Hons) Fine Art
You're told to use your time wisely and live your life while young. Do all the things you want to do in life, but what if your body aches with every move you make, your body is attacking itself you have no energy, drive, or motivation.
But you know that's what comes with living with chronic illnesses. So the statements above become even harder to do; you second guess yourself, you feel like a failure, question your future? Will I ever be able to do all these things I wanted to do so badly before I got sick?
But it's hard to imagine sitting in a hospital bed for the 5th time this year, less than six months into the new year.
The year that was supposed to be 'your' year.
You preserve your energy allow your mind to be still.
Allowing yourself to be creative while it still has its brainpower, you don't know how much longer you'll be able to go without the overwhelming brain fog from lack of nutrients and dehydration.
The illness has stopped you from living your life,
and you are simply surviving at best.
Some days are better than others, and when those days come, you throw yourself into your work because you don't know when the next day like this will come.
Painting and creating artwork helps you get past days when your head is a mess and full of self-doubt. You use paint as your muse. Your therapy, when talking, is too hard.